Dear Millennials, What Happened?

I used to be driven. I’d regularly dream up business ideas (and sometimes even execute them), research places to travel to (and go), and absorb every bit of interesting information I could get my hands on. My brain and body were sponges for knowledge and experiences - I wanted to see, feel, do, and know as much as I could.

For years, it wasn’t unusual for me to get up before dawn, hike 6+ miles, work on a business idea for the next 10 hours, then watch TED Talks, documentaries, or read some sort of self-development book until I fell asleep. I was motivated - genuinely excited by possibility.

Somewhere between COVID and present day, my enthusiasm for succeeding in the 21st century began to fade.

The shift started when I realized it’s not always possible to simply “put your mind to something” and achieve the outcome you’re looking for - that the American Dream wasn’t nearly as attainable as I’d been led to believe. The decline happened gradually at first. My desire to tear through books slowed down, then eventually stopped altogether. Scrolling social media replaced documentaries. And the endless stream of business ideas that used to naturally flow through my brain every time I encountered something inefficient or improvable dried up almost completely.

When tariffs, inflation, and not having enough time to constantly develop new skill sets (AI, social media, whatever else we’re apparently supposed to master this week) finally knocked my last business out cold, I threw up the white flag and surrendered to becoming just another cog in the wheel.

My time as a cog has been… interesting.

While I do my cogging well enough, I’ve lost the desire to do anything beyond baseline. The driven, enthusiastic side of me that existed for as long as I can remember feels like it’s been swallowed by a thick layer of sticky tar - still semi-alive underneath, but only able to move enough to get through the day without completely losing it.

I come up for air on the weekends - surfing, playing outside, and seeing friends - which is just long enough to remember what living enthusiastically once felt like.

I’ve been on this planet long enough to know there’s an ebb and flow to life. There are ups, downs, and periods of limbo in between. Things shift. They always do. But this current ebb - this slow slide downward - feels unusually long. And I can’t really see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Job scarcity, layoffs, and life getting more expensive by the minute are keeping a lot of us stuck - simply existing instead of thriving.

I know my life - that our lives - are supposed to feel more fulfilling than this.

And I think that’s what I miss the most.

Not the productivity. Not chasing “success.” Not even the ambition that used to pour out of me.

I miss feeling connected. Feeling fulfilled. Feeling present in more aspects of my life.

I want to get that back. And I don’t quite know how to.

Maybe that’s why this post feels unresolved.

Because I don’t think this is a topic that can be wrapped up with a pretty little bow. I don’t have a breakthrough conclusion or a list of “5 Things I’m Doing to Get My Spark Back.” And while tempting, I’m not about to quit my job and move to Bali to become a regular in the Uluwatu surf scene (as fun as that sounds).

I just know that something about the way many of us are living in present day feels fundamentally disconnected from the way human beings are supposed to exist. Constantly exhausted. Constantly consuming. Constantly worried about money. Constantly adapting to an increasingly expensive and unstable world while trying to maintain enough energy to still resemble ourselves for weekends and holidays.

Maybe this is just adulthood. Maybe it’s burnout. Maybe it’s grief. Maybe it’s late-stage capitalism. Maybe it’s all of it tangled together.

I don’t know.

I just know I can still feel the difference between existing and being alive.

And I don’t think I’m the only one quietly and consistently mourning this change.

That should do it for now...

Wishing You Waves for Days,

K

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